A few things I've learned over the past year:
~ The name No-see-ums is deceptive, not only do you see those little buggers, but you sure as hell feel 'em, too! Nasty little coastal biting fly thingies. So gross... & kind of painful!
~ 2 stroke engines are loud.
~ I know what a 2 stroke engine is... & a 4 stroke, too, for that matter.
~ Always give the local brew a try, at least once.
~ Keep a bottle of vinegar with you on board the boat and when you go to the beach, in case your best friend gets stung by a jellyfish.
~ When on land, if you see a person swaying, do not assume they are a boater just getting their "land legs" back like you, yourself are. Most likely they are drunk and will strike up a completely inane conversation with you. Instead of approaching them, avoid at all costs, especially when in a hurry.
~ Those little balls bobbing on the water are crab pot markers, Not a slalom ski course.
~ People are interested in the strangeness of a converted shrimp boat, so they will proceed to drive their boats very close for better inspection... if doing something embarrassing, like (hypothetically) breaking into a made-up song while making up a dance to go along with it, either close the doors & the blinds... or better yet, just refrain from doing said goofy things. Please, for the love of all that is not dorky, please refrain from such actions!
~ Just because you see a DNR (Department of Natural Resources) officer outside the boat, does not mean you are in trouble with the law. Same goes for any authority figure. They are most likely just checking out the digs. Chill.
~ Just because I have to walk up & down a long dock about a bazillion times a day, does not mean I deserve a Dilly Bar everyday, the calories (sadly) still add up. No, not a Frosty either!
~ A 20 kw generator running turns this boat into the equivalent of a Magic Fingers bed.
~ I know what an oil diaper is and how to use one (and I can almost say oil diaper without giggling).
~ Firefly Lemonade Vodka mixed with Minute Maid Lemonade Light is OUTSTANDING! It tastes just like a lemon quencher. I highly recommend it.
~ Putting a cocktail umbrella in a drink, even in those red plastic college kegger type cups, really does make it feel more like an "occasion", like a permanent vacation occasion.
~ I once saw a bumper sticker that said "South Carolina state bird" with a picture of a mosquito beneath the words. I now get it. The mosquitoes here are Cah-razy!
~ Krill are some grody little bastards and will leave you with one nasty ear infection (did not learn this from first hand experience, thank goodness).
~ It's amazing what one can learn to live without, and still feel fulfilled. Wondrous dichotomy, really.
~ Jay doesn't like tilapia, nor does he like root beer floats. I had no idea. ** Jay wants it known that he does Love root beer, ice cream, and pretty much all other fish. For the record. There, darling, better?
~ Our blue heeler, Blue, likes going for rides in the truck & she gets vindictive when she is denied this simple pleasure. When left at the boat, she will get into the trash and shred it better than a top of the line paper shredder. Other than that, she is the best dog!
~ Drunks will indelibly feel the need to strip down naked & jump off the back of the boat, then realize too late that the current is terribly strong and thereby be forced to pull themselves back up on the other dock. Which then leaves them with a humiliating walk of shame to collect their belongings. Every time.
~ I had a lot to learn... & still do. Bring it on, life!
